Saturday, July 29th 2:40 am.

Good evening spilling into morning.
It seems like rain and rain like seems it does. A blanket of rain, a white sheet.
Rain, washing fresh a clean palette. What does it mean?
White, blank, dense, (bland?) sheet. Pressing impatiently at its corners.
Rain. Make it new. Leave it empty. What does one find in that emptiness? Desire. Form desiring content. Rain: wet with desire. The excitement that characterizes unfulfilled desire. A movie screen, intimidating, virtually humming with density, moaning with desire. The film plays and the screen seems to sigh, soften its edges. The reel, the turning reel, the superfiscial sound, the haunting distance of space. When and where? How and who? The wheel, the turning wheel, a mechanism of desire, comes to a stop, has no further use upon fulfillment. Stop. Dead. Nothing more to say. At home and a very unsteady home it was, was a meeting of water and rock, both spilling upon each other, back and forth, never winning, never losing. How can anything matter? At night, waking up middle of the night, watching the giant ships' lights pausing along their routes. Can I climb aboard, pass backwards in time, travel forward in space? Where is success and failure? What can you say? The sun, the sounds, the sun, heavy sun. Is the weight of the sun balancing on the scale that measures my embarassment? How can another opportunity arise?
The colour of the eyes. Pause. What was that? The wine glass at my side and the light that never goes out. Say it and you won't become it. Keep silent and follow yr nose.
The sound. The disquieting sound of desire. The rain is falling and there is no relief in sight. Looking, one can see the city disappear; or: it was never there, only in imagination. Because: that's all it is. What is the name? Don't say it.
1) The silence of night.
2)The breeze that speaks, but conveys no messages for me.
3) Is it all coming up or going down? what is the best way to digest?
4) Falling off the train of sense. Lost it. Oh where are you?
On the corner. Bus stop cheapest way home. Hadn't really eaten all morning. Dropped off and left alone. I smoked a cigarette and sucked back the greasy spoon, waiting.
In those days. Those days.
Let's close this off. Let's tie that noose.
Can we all walk along together for awhile?